Transition Time

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At the end of May I will leave my administrative job of the last fourteen years in University of Oregon’s College of Education. I am leaving in order to devote more time to my current body of artwork, Eve’s Imprint: A Global Family. I find it interesting that even though this is something I very much want to do, nevertheless, because it is a big change in how I will order my days and with whom I will be connecting on a regular basis, it brings a lot of mixed feelings.

When I left the Institute of Cultural Affairs after thirty years of service I felt that I had my whole life ahead of me. When my marriage of 23 years ended, I knew that I needed to discover who I was as an individual. When I said a final goodbye to my daughter after 35 years, I kept focused on assuring a continuity of love for her two daughters. Somehow this upcoming loss and departure feel different.

Perhaps it is the age at which I am making this transition that the stakes seem high. Perhaps it is residual self-doubt about myself as an artist that makes the future seem uncertain even though I know I will be spending hours in the studio every day. Perhaps, after all of my losses and leavings, it is time to consider my legacy to planet earth. What, if any, mark will I leave?

I invite your reflections on life transitions. How have you celebrated and coped with them?

I invite your reflections on leaving a legacy of love. How are you approaching it? What has been helpful in your process?

Below are two pieces of wisdom I’m currently contemplating.

Lisa Haisha: What Kind of Legacy Are You Leaving the World?

Sept 9, 2011

Know What Matters

To start purposefully creating your legacy, think about the following three questions. I've used these questions myself and have given them to my clients to think about and answer. They will rock you to your core. Answer them honestly to create a legacy that matters and endures.

1)    Twenty-five years after my death, what, if anything, will those beyond my family remember me for?

2)    If I had to give everything I own to a cause (not a person), what would that cause be?

3)    If I could snap my fingers and acquire an experience or talent, it would be ___________ because ___________ .

While on the surface these questions may sound simple, when it comes time to answer them you'll realize that each question requires much thought. In fact, most people have to think about the questions for days before really knowing the answers.

Remember, it's not what we leave FOR others that matters; it's what we leave IN them that matters most. Possessions and wealth do not a true legacy make. It's about leaving behind the essence of your Authentic Soul. That's what the world needs from you. So serve others by leaving behind the best and most beautiful parts of you. Today and every day, create your legacy.

Craig Lucas: Leaving Your Artistic Legacy

The following is from a commencement address Craig Lucas delivered to the graduates of the Boston University College of Fine Arts in 2008.

By all means, earn accolades, find fame and fortune, and when the world falls at your feet, just don't let them tell you what to do next. Just don't let them make you do the same new thing over and over. The world is full of artists who literally painted themselves into a corner. No one should have to write the same play twice.

Learn that most magical of words, the one that will open the most doors, command the most respect, and free you from the tyrant within and without:

No.

If all we do as artists is make people feel, that alone can subvert some of the cynicism and indifference being peddled.

By feel, I don't mean that warm glow audiences get when they're told how smart they are and everything is fine just as it is; that warmth is nothing more than the fever accompanying the disease that is killing them. That's called pandering and people will pay an awful lot for that; and so will you. You really can ask more of yourself and your audience.

That's the hope I want for you.

We began, as artists, tens of thousands of years ago, by putting our hands to the walls of the caves and leaving a handprint: "I was here! This is what it was like! These arrows, these animals, this blood."

That is still our job.

Creative Enrichment

We arrived at the fifth session of my Something More series of creativity workshops before I remembered to take my camera. So this is the first time I can share pictures. Perhaps it was because we had passed the halfway mark that I found myself beginning to discern some lessons. Here are a few. I’m sure more will come as we begin to reflect on the full journey.

Making the base for each other's Empowered Me mask was an intimate experience.

The sewing circle dynamic is enriching.
I think what women appreciate most in our Something More sessions is the opportunity for individual and group reflection. Working and raising families, contemporary career women have few opportunities to pull aside and get perspective. When I give them an exercise for writing in their journals, they are often amazed by their own wisdom. When I guide a reflective conversation, they experience support and affirmation. And the informal conversation that occurs while working on their own projects is nurturing. 

Whether it was a quilting bee, cooking for a harvesting crew, or canning fruit in a neighbor’s kitchen, women in earlier times found that being creative together not only made the work go faster, it generated fruitful discussions. The projects women create in Something More have been chosen because they nurture a woman’s soul. Doing them within a circle adds social meaning to the project.

The large conference table at Ophelia's Place is ideal for conversation and creative projects.

Give more time for projects.
My biggest discovery has been that most of the projects I have designed for this series require two sessions rather than one. Participants attend the workshops because they need designated time away from distractions to work on their creative projects. Few are in a position to go home and take their piece to the level of completion that makes them proud of what they have created. They need to take the project to completion within the workshop time. The companionship they experience in the workshop sessions spurs them on.

This discovery has led me to see that next year I will need eight sessions instead of seven. There will be introductory and concluding sessions plus two sessions each for the Dream Mandala Collage, Future Vision Accordion Book, and either an Empowered Me Mask or I Heart You Folk Art Doll.

Women find that working on a creative project reminds them of how creative they were at other times in their life.

Always get the best materials. 
Years ago when I first began studying art, one of my teachers told me that if you want quality results you have to use quality materials. Apparently I needed a reminder. Watching one student’s lovely pastel drawing get smeared I realized I had not provided proper pastel paper. Likewise a couple of students used colored pencils that did not show well on the paper I gave them. So, in future classes, I will ask students to buy a small pack of Caran d’Arche watercolor crayons. These crayons work on many surfaces, are easy to draw with, and when one brushes over them with water, they yield strong color.In another session, I provided students with a cheap form of sticky tack. It was too sticky for the magazine pictures we were using and tended to cause tears when pulled from the pictures. 

Now I will ask students to buy UHU Tac, a more stable putty that pulls easily from surfaces. I will also insist that students buy YES glue for their collages. Though more expensive than Modge Podge (which shopkeepers tell them will work but it really won’t), YES glue does not wrinkle paper, has no smell, and does not turn yellow with age. Glue sticks are not permanent; the glue dries out and your collage falls apart.

You need quality materials to get quality results.

Demonstrate Processes and Materials.
I have discovered that I take many things for granted. Students want to be shown how to use the watercolor crayons, sticky tack and YES glue. I’ve been using these materials for so long, I was not aware of how strange they seem when first encountered. In the case of the mask and doll making, I did not take things for granted. I helped the mask makers with set up and we talked through the process before they began. With the doll makers, I spent a lot of time creating a simple pattern and a sample for cutting out the body. I will be asking my current group of students to tell me what they would have liked for me to demonstrate.

For the Folk Art Doll, I spent time creating a pattern and sample that made the process very clear.

What are you learning these days?

Solstice Blessings

Wondrous Winter Solstice 2013

Star of wonder in the night

Star of hope-filled light

Star with love shining bright

Infinite annual cycles

Bring sun's blessing

Down to earth

Message in our blood

Around the world

We are one

Sands of Time

Awaken

Zen of Openness

Enter the temple

Strewing flowers

To honor Goddess Gaia

All is Good 2014 

Images: LiDoña Wagner Tea and Me series

A Healing Journey

First Things First

Easter Sunday, walking at a rapid pace and not being present in the moment, I misjudged a curb and flew through the air to land full force in the asphalt road. Arms outstretched to break the landing, I fractured my upper left arm near the shoulder.

With horizontal and vertical cracks near the top of the humerus bone, the orthopedists were concerned that the top of the bone would break off and then things would be very serious. The best course of action was to immobilize the arm in a sling belted to my waist for one month to give the bone a chance to heal. They assured me that if I did this, I could expect to recover 80% of my previous use of that arm. 

No one spoke of the trauma’s effect on the rest of my body or my psyche. No one spoke of the effects of immobilization on all the muscles and tissues of my arm, shoulder and side body. There were no references to other health practitioners.

Arm straped to my body, I adjusted computer setups and sleeping and bathing arrangements and mastered pain management so I could continue working. I gave up my yoga practice but managed to keep up a walking routine. With one goal emblazoned on my mind, immobilizing the arm to prevent displacement of the top of the humerus bone, I ignored the seriousness of what had happened. In typical grin and bear it fashion, I pretended everything was as it had been before, except that I was functioning with one arm.

Whole Body Experience

It was not until permission was given to take off the sling, that I began to realize that such a harsh fall is a total body experience. I was given a prescription for physical therapy, but my preferred provider was away getting married. Awaiting her return, I became aware of tension throughout my body and in my approach to life.

I arranged for a full body massage and was fortunate to be scheduled with a woman who had a wide repertoire of techniques. She found myofascial release most effective in getting my body to relax. Under her gentle touch, I felt pain and tenderness in oh, so many muscles! The trauma of impact came to the surface and all of the tears that shock had prevented me from shedding began to flow.

After a few massages and physical therapy sessions, I became conscious of a persistent ache in my chest, near the breastbone. Someone suggested that a rib might be out of alignment. Bingo! Of course the ribs had suffered from the impact. So, off I went to a chiropractor. Sure enough, once he had tapped a rib back into place, the chest pain was gone. He gave me a prescription for manual therapy – myofascial release – to supplement my bi-weekly physical therapy sessions.

Use it or lose it is absolutely true. I was in continual astonishment at the number of muscles and fascia that have to be urged into functioning again. I am convinced there is a way to immobilize a bone without making muscles stop their normal functioning. For example, a dissolvable substance could be injected into bone fractures. As the bone began to heal, new cells could displace the substance and make it dissolve. Or a net made of dissolvable threads could be spun around the bone. The threads would be timed to dissolve as the bone healed. All of this would require microscopic surgery and unfortunately surgery is very hard on the body. So maybe we’re stuck with the archaic practice of letting muscles atrophy in order to allow a bone to heal properly. 

Honoring Client Goals

I am blessed with an amazing physical therapist. Right off the bat, I announced that 80% recovery was not good enough. I needed 95-100% recovery for my art, gardening, and yoga. Her response was, “OK, let’s see how far we can go!” Of course, I have to do my part. When she gives me exercises, I have to be faithful in doing them.

As we came close to the 80% point, I seemed to hit a plateau and I began to lose momentum with doing my exercises. In order to get moving again, I suggested that I get back into yoga. Not only did I feel that I had lost overall flexibility in the six months without yoga, I sensed that I needed to begin asking the arm to do the things that a fully functioning shoulder would permit. I also knew I needed fresh motivation toward my goal of complete recovery.

My physical therapist agreed. She gave me some limits and clues about when to stop in order to prevent re-injury. Mostly I had to limit the number of down-dogs I did and stay away from plank pose. Right away yoga began showing me my limitations. This information guided my therapist in pinpointing specific muscles that needed support. You have no idea how many muscles there are underneath the shoulder blade!

 

My team and I are making strides toward my goal. I hope to complete my healing journey toward the end of December.

Recovery in a Nutshell

If you experience a major challenge such as a broken or fractured bone, here’s what I recommend.

•  Recognize that whatever happened, it is a whole body experience
• Develop a team approach to your recovery
• Find at least one practitioner who will listen to your goals and help you move toward them
• Be diligent in doing your exercises and patient with slow progress
• Work through the plateau

All photos from Google Images

The Fullness of Being You

Lunar Eclipse

Deep indigo, no moonlight

Wholeness within, perfect time

Creative children to birth

Women's Cyclical Nature

Women are accustomed to the snake-like process of shedding our skins and taking on new roles, identities, and even personalities. It is part of our physical nature to go through periodic cycles, beginning with the onset of menses.

Sometime between ten and fifteen, our bodies indicate that childhood is over. Monthly ovulation signals that we can become child bearers. Similar to the cycles of the moon, these monthly rhythms are sometimes referred to as moon cycles. Each month our body prepares to nurture an egg. When an unfertilized egg passes through the uterus, our body begins to slough off the blood it had prepared for a placenta that would have nurtured a fertilized egg. As that cycle ends, a new one begins.

With the onset of menses, girls give up identifying with dolls and take on the “temptress” role. This may eventually lead to finding a mate who will take us through another rite of passage - from fecund female to nurturing mother.

At a deep unconscious level, this snake-like “sloughing off” becomes second nature. And even though change is natural and even desirable, it is still difficult. Especially since the beginning of a new cycle is often prefigured by depression, restlessness, or unease related to a sense of losing one’s former self.

In terms of social roles, some women go through new stages of life as often as every ten years. For others it may be every twenty or thirty years. The mothering identity is so strong that as beloved children begin to leave the nest, some women lose touch with their cyclical nature and begin to panic. They may have affairs or a late-life child in order to prolong a role that had come to seem total and all encompassing.

Menopause represents a big moon cycle, in fact, an eclipse of our moon. What appeared in our teenage years begins to wane and disappear. It is mega skin-shedding time and signals that we will no longer have monthly reminders that life is cyclical. In sloughing off our childbearing capacity, we experience strange new energies and impulses and greater self-awareness. It’s an opportunity to reinvent our selves.

Experiencing a peak of power and strength, post-menopausal women find Western society’s image of “retirement” or “senior citizen” problematic. The male model of retirement does not fit our nature. Rather than withdrawing from social engagement to reconvene on the golf course, we are ready to reposition our selves within a larger social scene. All our previous experience has shown us that whether it is giving up our mothering role, transitioning a twenty to thirty year career, or leaving a demanding 9-5 job, this is an evolution to a new self-image, the dawn of a fertile era.

Embracing the Fullness of Being You

At each stage of life a woman must bring all her creative energies to bear on giving shape to her authentic self, the one within and yet beyond the nubile young maiden, the supportive mother, or the responsible worker. We must shed our former identities and social norms to release our creative powers and give birth to new ventures.

It is precisely because life transitions, though natural, are difficult that I have developed a series of seven creativity and personal transformation workshops called Something More. Utilizing creative processes such as visual art, personal writing, and facilitated individual and group reflection, each session provides in depth conversation with other women who are ready to discover their personal wellsprings for generative living. I am offering these five-hour workshops for the first time this year here in Eugene.

Who am I? Acknowledging My Current State

Oct 12         Awakening My Untapped Potential

Nov 16        Dreaming My Authentic Self

What do I want? Visioning My Desired Path

Dec 14            Owning My Personal Power

Jan 18             Visualizing My Ideal Future

Feb 15            Realizing All That I Can Be

Where am I going? Actualizing My Awesome Capacities

Mar 15            Opening to New Vistas

Apr 12            Singing My Being into Existence

Whatever transition you are in, trust that the gentle beauty of a new moon follows the lunar eclipse. Relish it.

Eclectic Treats of Northern California

Redwood Giants

We reserved plenty of time to explore the redwoods
on the way from Mendocino back to San Francisco.

Stepping into Hendy Woods,

we saw how fallen trees feed an entire ecosystem.

Seeing Karen beside this enormous rootball was awesome.

Tree heights were so vast we could not capture
the entire height in one photo.

The resilience of the oldest trees was manifest
in their survival of an intense fire years ago.

Bravo Boonsville Hotel

Not ready for lunch but wanting a cool drink,
we stopped at the Boonsville Hotel, a modern roadhouse.

Karen's instincts were right. Behind the fence and
modest hotel entry were more than even she anticipated.

We took our drinks of apple cider and mineral water
out to lounge chairs overlooking the garden.

From there we could see the hotel's delightful
casitas made of recycled materials 

We watched the kitchen's chef come out to clip herbs
from the garden that was planted in an amphitheatre arrangement.

Walking down garden aisles gave us a close up view of Sunflowers
and decorative plants providing shade for  edible crops.

A gazebo in the center of the garden was covered
in bright orange flowers.

Garden terracing, eco-friendly casitas, inviting gazebo, comfortable patio seating, and
artful hotel details showed us what 25 years of manifesting one's dream can produce.

Charming Healdsburg

Leaving Boonsville, we headed into wine country.

Wine from the Russian River Valley has a rich smooth taste.

We arrived in Healdsburg to find gentrification everywhere.

With an attempt to preserve
some of its old world charm.

The downtown center is a square built around a central park.

An art lover's town, even the bookstore displays fabric art by its owner. 

Galleries range from avant gard jewelry, to decorative
paintings, to crafts, to fine art. 

Healdsburg Center for the Arts had a cool juried ceramics show.
It and Barn Diva stimulated my imagination.

Successful vineyards are the source of Healdsburg's prosperity.

Who wouldn't love a climate like that of Tuscany, Italy?

Glorious Golden Gate

Santa Rosa appeared drab after Healdsburg, but
we enjoyed the local botanic garden.

Approaching San Francisco, we were greeted by mystical fog.

Golden Gate bridge was blanketed
in low hanging clouds.

But nothing can really hide its inherent beauty.

Can there be a more fitting entry to a cosmopolitan city?

Or a more inspiring departure from a feast on
the eclectic treats of Northern California?