Letting Go
In the first part of June a friend helped me give away six of the trees from the tree nursery I started at my former home. Even as I knew they needed to move from pots into the ground, it was still gut wrenching. These were my babies! As wee sprouts, I had rescued them from oblivion, given them a home, watered and fussed over them.
I spent a couple of days feeling empty and forlorn.But it turns out that giving away these now solid young trees would be the last time I would grieve for my former home of 20 years.
Finding space for the New
For several days I contemplated the empty spaces left on my two decks. I began to see how the Buddha that graces my east-facing deck could be moved into a more central location where it could be seen from several views. And if I moved a couple of younger trees to the back deck there would be space for my three potted Hydrangeas on the shady side of the deck, a move that would allow them to flourish.
There was still space for two of my youngest most fragile trees: a pink Korean Dogwood gifted to me for taking care of someone else’s lilies and a baby I had rescued from a negligent neighbor when I saw that it was stunted from lack of water. A few faithful geraniums would add some color.
Opening to the Future
I gathered my remaining eight trees on the back west-facing deck, grouping them into a grove that would protect my living room from intense afternoon heat.
As I began enjoying my two new and enlivened spaces, I realized that my transition from homeowner to aging renter was over. During my twenty years in my former home I had grieved over the death of my daughter and participated in helping my grandchildren grow into amazing college-educated adults.
Now one grandchild is a businesswoman, yoga teacher and mother with a baby – making me a great-grandmother. The other has a Ph.D. in neuroscience and has launched a professional career in research and teaching.
All of this means I am launched into a wide-open future. What and who will I become?
6 comments:
What a lovely, tribute to the past and hopeful transition to today and the future!
What a lovely thing to do! Thank you for sharing.
Randy has been staying with me for 5 years now. His divorce still pending. We are growing a food forest on my almost one acre.In the historical district of crescent city, florida. This is a great adventure. Weather conditions fluctuate so much.This last freeze, a couple died, and we 're really able, on the other hand when it's warm to grow from seed fruit trees.. I visited the lower east site of manhattan in the human development project, where we lived. Thirty six years later, all the streets are lined with trees.. Concrete was removed and ended now. The trees are rooted underneath the rest of the concrete and growing tall to make the streets healthy. The city has taken over care and replacement of the trees. It's the same with all the parks in the city. Just the opposite is happening around here. So, my land being covered with trees? It is to me, a beautiful demonstration of gratitude for being alive. No, ma'am, ma'am, matter what politics are doing. I will not be afraid. I will be what the future needs to be.
Nurturing seedlings into self-sustaining, long-living tress is a great metaphor for raising a family from daughter, to grandchildren and now great grandchildren. As always, thanks for sharing your reflections.
You always bring joy into the world with your love of nature and willingness to do everything possible to make this a better world for generations to come. Thank you💕
Thank you LiDona for your reflections.
In our space we have about 3000 indigenous trees. We also have systems to harvest the water during the monsoon.
This year our monsoon was delayed. And when it did arrive it arrived in abundance. Our Indriyani river flooded. Schools and offices are closed for two days.
What I was deeply addressed by was your clarity that you are moving into a phase when you will need assistance. That clarity helped me to realise that I need to be open to that phase and take personal ownership for that transition.
Thank you very much LiDona
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