The Practice of Self-Affirmation

Many years ago I created a ritual to handle my anxiety over the first Christmas without my daughter. Called 12 Days of Christmas, for each of 12 days I gave myself a gift. These were as small as a $5 teapot from Goodwill, as costly as going to the ballet, as sweet as a box of chocolates, and as spiritual as a set of Mother Peace Tarot cards. It was one of the most self-affirming things I had ever done.

In the years since my first 12 Days of Christmas, I’ve used that ritual to navigate difficult periods of my life. I realize now that performing that ritual has developed into the practice of self-affirmation. In the last year I performed the following acts of self-affirmation.

To care for myself:

1. I set aside time every week to talk with my best friend.
2. I walked thirty minutes a day and did yoga or Pilates at least two days a week.
3. After owning my condo for seven years, I painted the interior in colors that nourish my spirit.
4. Knowing my tendency to become absorbed in a book and read all night, I held off reading The Help until my most intense period of work had passed.

To respect my creativity:

1. Despite early rejections of my Pilgrimage series of paintings, I persisted for nine months in creating and sending out an exhibition proposal that resulted in having three solo shows.
2. In spite of having limited resources, I invested in spending two weeks studying with my art mentor.
3. I purchased a professional easel so as not to harm my neck and back by leaning over a table for long periods of time.
4. I reorganized the studio to accommodate the easel and have all my supplies close at hand.

To challenge myself:

1. I went kayaking and refused to give up just because I didn’t get it right in the first half hour.
2. Despite not being a science fiction or fantasy fan, I read Phillip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy because both of my granddaughters loved the books. It turned out that I thoroughly enjoyed them.
3. I committed to doing my Children of Eve series on wood panels rather than paper, a support with which I am very comfortable.
4. I wrote a blog every month – even if it was in the last wee hours of the last day of the month.

In listing the above items, I’m not bragging about myself. I am giving you examples of what the practice of self-affirmation might look like. I challenge each of you to take up this practice because the interesting thing about self-affirmation is that it does not lead to self-absorption. On the contrary, it opens us up to care for that which is beyond ourselves. For example,

1. In my care for the environment, I choose not to own a car. (See my blog on E to the third power.)
2. A friend and I have traded our gift exchanges for making contributions to groups doing critical work in the world. Some of these include Central Asia Institute, Ophelia’s Place in Eugene, Partners in Health, Doctors Without Borders, Heifer International and Institute of Cultural Affiars.
3. I am a member of President Obama’s Honorary Kitchen Cabinet – meaning I gave generously of time and money to elect a visionary leader.
4. I’m out canvassing for Democratic candidates who will move our country forward - out of the slide into oblivion where we were previously headed.

If each of us cared for ourselves, nurtured our creativity, and challenged ourselves to move out of our comfort zone, I suspect that not only our economy but our civic life as well as the arts and education would blossom in exciting ways. Why not give it a try?