On Becoming Old

The fashionable cane that helps me balance to prevent falling.

I am old. Denial is no longer an option. As I approach the anniversary of my 79th year as a spiritual being having a human experience, my arthritic hip is a constant reminder that one cannot turn back the physical clock.

One would think that earlier brushes with death would have prepared me for the end of life. After all I could have died when:

• one of two engines failed on a six-seat plane on the way to Timbuktu; or
•  when our tent collapsed as we set out to march in Selma; or
• in the Chicago riots after the assassination of Martin Luther King; or
• on a Filipino bus set fire by protestors; or
• had my emergency appendectomy in the Philippines been a few hours later; or
• hitchhiking in Maharastra, India; or
• when I had breast cancer; or 
•  of grief when my only child died: or
• when I hit my head during a fall on the sidewalk in 2015.

But, no. None of those events foretold my struggles with aging. 

The pool where I walk and hang (traction) three times a week to keep my body supple.

Pioneering Meaningful Life

Nor did it help when my physical therapist met my complaint about how much time it takes to care for this aging body with a smiling response. “Isn’t it great that you no longer need to work so you have time to deal with your health issues?” I did not see any great benefit in what she said and while her comment stopped my complaining to her, I continued to rail to myself against what seemed to be outrageous healthcare demands.

What did help was when, after ordering X-rays of the hip, my young physical therapist said, “LiDoña, modern medicine has made it possible for humans to live longer, but the human body was not designed for long life.”

Suddenly, I realized that as baby boomers we are once again pioneering. Now we are leading the charge for living meaningful lives in bodies that are shutting down.

The elaborate bed that enhances circulation in my leg and reading in bed.

Extraordinary Time

Last week three deaths struck me in the heart.

• My dear friend Gail Katul, who shared my same age, died after a struggle with vascular dementia. She was in my first Eugene Dream Mandala class and was my first local art patron. She was bright, sensitive, creative, and generous.
•  Aretha Franklyn, Queen of Soul and singer for three presidential inaugurations, died at the same age that I am now. As President Obama said, “she gave us a piece of divinity”.
• Kofi Annan, the former courageous United Nations General Secretary, passed away just after turning 80. The world lost one of its great peace warriors.

These deaths of persons my age brought to mind something my friend Gordon Harper said after he learned of his diagnosis of Leukemia. “I intend to live this period until my death as EXTRAORDINARY TIME.” And he did.

A similar message is carried in the film The Last Word. Shirley McClain plays a former successful businesswoman facing (and even wanting) death. Yet she decides to make her final months into an extraordinary life - one inspiring others to be their best self.

As you become aware of your human clock ticking down, what kind of extraordinary time will you live?